On sex, my beliefs, and why no one needs to explain theirs

There are a lot of things that I do in life simply because of my beliefs. They're usually not based on popular or appreciated beliefs.  I tend to like to be contrary, and my beliefs are no exception to this.  But I stand by my beliefs, despite their lack of popularity or tendency to buck the cultural status quo. I'm stubborn.

Along with being stubborn, I am, like I've shared before, a practicing Catholic.  A lot of people are Catholic.  In fact, Catholics comprise 16% of the world population and 50% of the Christian population. While the doctrines of the Catholic church are firm and specific, they are so firm and specific that they tend to be really hard to follow closely.  That's why, despite millions of people in this world calling themselves Catholic, you're likely to find vast differences in the beliefs and behaviors of practicing Catholics.  I am no different.  I subscribe to the majority of Catholic Church doctrines, but there are certainly those that I choose to interpret in my own way.  Some would call me a "cafeteria catholic" (a derisive label for those who pick and choose from church doctrine, like you might pick and choose what to eat from options in a cafeteria), but I just consider myself a discerning Catholic.  After all, the cafeteria serves some really unhealthy things, so it makes sense to avoid eating them.

Anyways, among the church regulations that I have chosen to subscribe to are some that fit really well within my social and cultural context (like loving my neighbor and going to mass every Sunday), others are a little more controversial.  Specifically, unlike the majority of my peers, I have chosen to save sex for marriage (OH NO SHE DIDN'T!).  Yup, I said it.  I'm a card-carrying (not really, but there are virgin cards for real), purity-ring-wearing (that I'm not kidding about) virgin.  I'm going to remain a virgin until I'm married.  And if I don't get married then I'll never have sex.  (WHAT!?)  

But really, all of that is tertiary to my actual point.  My point in sharing all of this is not to share my sexual preferences or to start drama.  No, my point in sharing is to explain that when I tell people all of this, they actually become personally offended.  They infer from my beliefs, that I am judging them for not agreeing.  They assume that I am a prude, or that because of my lack of sexual inexperience I just don't know enough to make a decision about whether or not I'd like to have sex before I'm married (which is a really convoluted way of thinking).  They think that I will regret my decision or change my mind.  That I am confused.  That I am blindly complying with a system that someone else created.

Well all of this is wrong.  I have made my own choices.  I have educated myself about these choices.  I will not regret these choices because I have been educated.  I am proud of my decision.  I am not ashamed.

What I've learned by having a counter-cultural belief is that my beliefs are no one else's business.  They are not for other people to judge.  They are my own.  I do not owe anyone an explanation.  My beliefs do not affect others in any way, but their criticism of my beliefs, and my intelligence via my beliefs, does affect me.

And through this I've realized that my opinions are irrelevant and unnecessary when it comes to other people's beliefs too.  What I think about their life choices is unimportant.  It will serve no purpose for me to question them and tell them that they are wrong.  It will help no one for me to explain why I disagree with them.  My beliefs are mine and their's are their's.  And that's the way it should be.

Keep on thinking,
Josie