On my academic angels

When I first came to grad school it felt a little bit like the first day of freshman year of college.  I was entering a new and completely foreign place, without any friends, surrounded by people in the very same situation--friendless.  It was terrifying to think that there was a slight possibility that I would be horrible at making friends, and be stuck at the school for five years without anyone to confide in, spend time with, know.  And then a crazy thing happened--I met a group of people, my cohort, who completely changed my life.

Grad school can be a miserable place, and it's easy to fall into a miserable state of being because of that, but good friends will help you keep an even state of mind, pull you out of the trenches when you're stuck, amp you up for the tough stuff, and celebrate with you for the good stuff.  Good friends in grad school are like little academic angels.  That's exactly what my cohort has been for me in the past two years-- a little pack of academic angels who keep me grounded and sane.

Because they have kept me afloat these past two years, the prospect of leaving my angels is terrifying.  I've learned to function as a graduate student, but I'm not sure I've learned to function in a way that is not dependent on them.  I'm not sure that I know how to be a good graduate student without them and they're not going to be at my new school in Florida.  It's just going to be me.  But at this point, I don't have a choice.  I have to learn to live without my angels, or at least with my angels intervening from a distance (which they will I'm sure). I'll probably find another set of angels.  Not better, because that's in no way possible, just different.  Still angels though, just wearing different school colors.

But that still feels wrong.  Feels like replacing, and no one can replace my black and gold angels. No one.

Keep on thinking,
Josie