On the worth of anger

 Anger, an emotion like any other, is healthy and normal.  We need to feel it once in a while, and sometimes we should feel it.  It is not the presence or even intensity of the emotion that determines whether it is good or bad.  No, it is what a person chooses to do with that anger that determines its worth.  Anger is a powerful thing.  While it can breed aggression and hurt, in its most powerful form, and best form, it can breed change.

When injustices occur in our lives, in the world, anger is a appropriate reaction.  World hunger, unequal rights, budging in line (no seriously--totally an acceptable time for anger...especially if you're a kid), the minimization of your values or work--all of these are incredibly appropriate, and in my opinion, necessary, times for anger.  But in those instances when we feel anger, it is equally necessary for us to:

1.  Identify the feeling. Acknowledge that we are in fact feeling something and that that feeling is anger.  Sometimes our cues for this can come right from our bodies--increased heart rate, shakiness, rapid breathing, tense muscles, racing thoughts.

2.  Identify the source of the anger. Before you can do anything to address the anger (to decrease it, or use it), you have to figure out why you're angry.  Observe your surroundings and take note of what's going on.  Is it something that someone else did? Is it something that is a hang-up for you and so you are the source of the anger?  Figure that out.

3.  Decide what you want to do with the anger.  Like I said before, you've got two options, use it or lose it.  Weigh these options and decide which one is better for you and others in that moment.  Anger can be destructive if it motivates action that is unnecessary or harmful.  Before you decide to act on your anger, be sure that it's because the action is going to help you and others.  This will ensure that your acting on your anger will incite change not harm.

4.  Address the anger.   Either address the cause of the anger (the problem) or relax.  Relax, realize that your addressing the problem isn't going to help, and brush it off as one of the world's crazy tactics to make you equally crazy.

If you instead decide to address the problem, well, that's when anger is a really great thing.  It's our signal that something is unjust or unfair in our world and needs to be addressed.  It's our opportunity to make change happen, improve our world, and the lives of others.  It's constructive, productive, and helpful.

So don't ignore your anger or stamp it down.  And certainly don't let people shame you for your anger or any feelings that you have for that matter.  You are allowed to feel and one type of feeling is anger.  Doing something with that feeling does not make you a drama queen, or an over-reacter, or crazy.

It makes you important.  It makes you the heart of change.

Keep on thinking,
Josie