On my long-distance personhood

If you've been following along here for the past couple of months then you're fully aware that I'm moving long-distance in the next few weeks.  I've been living here for the past two months, working toward a PhD that ended up being a terminal Master's degree after my advisor left for another program.  Hopefully take two will end up with a PhD.  Anyways, for anyone unfamiliar with the whole PhD in Psychology gig, it's a long, painful, haul that very few people are crazy enough to pursue.  Only 3 or 4 people are accepted every year into a program, and I was lucky enough to end up being one of four in a very dysfunctional but lovable family to whom I have become entirely too attached and on whom I have become entirely too dependent.

One person in particular in our family of four has become my person.  If you've ever watched Grey's Anatomy you'll know that the relationship between Cristina and Meredith is one that exceeds best-friendship.  They just get each other.  There's never a need for explanation or apologies.  When they met it was like they never knew anyone else who got them quite as well.  They're sisters separated at birth.  They were each-other's people.  That's me and Lucia.

Lucia is my person. She's significantly older than me--about 6 years older--but I've always gotten along with people older than me better anyways.  Despite our age difference, when we first met we never had to deal with the whole tip-toeing around "can I swear in front of you?"  "What's your deal?" mess.  We just dove in head-first.  Cursing-bodily-function-deep-philosophical-what's-your-life-story-totally-comfortable-head-first.  And from that point on our weekends were marked by hour-plus phone conversations, and our weeks full of study dates, dinner dates, wine dates.  She became like an extension of me, an important one like a foot or hand.  One without whom you can't function.

So, leaving her is probably the worst part of this move.  I feel like I've been robbed of three years of time with a person in this world who, finally, gets me and accepts me unconditionally.  And while my person-hood with her has been the best more-than-friendship (in a totally platonic way) I've every had in my entire life, I don't want another one.  I just want this one.  Forever.

So this time, I have to try a bit harder.  I'm bad at keeping in touch.  But I WILL NOT this time.  I will not lose touch with Lucia because I'm fairly certain that if I lose touch with her, I will lose touch with myself.

No.  I will do this the right way and I will be a good friend.  I will talk every week, text everyday, send gifts, and visit yearly.  I will not fail at being her person because I need my person in my life and I'm pretty sure she needs me.

That's pretty awesome.

Keep on thinking,
Josie