Today I turned 25.  At 10:01AM to be exact.  And at 10:01 AM I felt no different than I did at 10:00AM, or even 10:00PM the night before.  Being 25 is no different than being 24.  Except, if that's the case, then why does my 25th birthday fill me with more dread than any birthday prior?

I've never been big on birthdays, at least not since I was young enough to have parent-sponsored parties.  I don't publicize on social media that it's my birthday.  I don't announce it to the world.  I don't even let my friends know when it is. That's because have a permanent case of Peter Pan syndrome and birthdays are just evidence of the fact that I can't be a child forever.  So I don't focus on them.  But 25 is a big number.  It's a quarter of 100, and I'm fairly certain that barring any major life disasters, I'll be able to live to that age (given society's ever improving medical care and innovation).

So this means that a quarter of my life (or more if my assumptions are wrong) is over. Therein lies the problem.  I'm not sure I've got a whole lot to say for those 25 years. It feels a bit like I've spent 25 years leeching off of the world without putting anything back into it.  Yes, in 25 years I've gained a whole lot of knowledge and a number of years of education, but while that's great for me, I've barely been able to apply it to helping anyone else. On top of that, I've still got at least 5 years of learning left to do before I can call myself a professional.  That means I won't actually be able to contribute to the world as a full-fledged professional until I'm 30!

In the mean time, I'm not married (or even in a serious relationship), I have no kids, I don't own anything except a few pieces of IKEA furniture and some cookware, I haven't made any breakthroughs in my field, I don't even pay my own phone bill!

But the more I think about it, the more I realize that in 25 years, while I haven't gained any physical possessions or the power to change someone's life, I have gained a whole lot of life experience.  And I can bank that life experience to be an even more powerful, productive, successful, GOOD, human being in the future.  I've lived in four different places, one abroad.  I've worked in gelato shops, sold diamonds, assisted research on baby psychology.  I've done my own research. I've performed on stage. I've seen countless Broadway shows.  I've started and ended friendships, treated clients, defended a Master's thesis, and gotten two degrees.

I've done a lot...not as much as, in an ideal world, I'd have done, but I've done a lot.

Just enough for a 25 year old.  Just enough for me.

Keep on thinking,
Josie