Sunday, May 11, 2014

On ME and MY desire to become a princess



Can we please just call this a no-judgement zone for a minute? I’m about to quote Mia Thermopolis, or should I say Amelia Mignonette Thermopolis Renaldi, Princess of Genovia, and I need you to take it seriously. Who’s that you ask? Oh, just the star of one of the GREATEST Disney movies ever: The Princess Diaries. Anyways, [SPOILER ALERT] in The Princess Diaries, Mia angsts over whether or not she wants to become a Princess. She has a choice to make and in the end it starts looking like she’s going to choose against becoming a princess.

Then she says these wise words in a speech:

”..then I realized how many stupid times a day I use the word ‘I.’ And probably all I ever do is think about myself. And how lame is that when there’s like seven billion other people out there on the planet. But then I thought, if I cared about the other seven billion out there, instead of just me, that’s probably a much better use of my time.”


These were such wise words that I was moved to name my pet gerbils after her (and her best friend Lily) when I was younger. RIP Mia & Lily (the gerbils).

Anyways, she’s got a point! So often we are so caught up in our own stuff, in our own experiences, that we forget that there are other people around us whose experiences matter too and from which we can learn.

For example, today I had dinner with friends. By the end of the meal I was acutely aware that the majority of my contributions to conversation were about ME, and MY life, and MY experiences. Rarely were they an elaboration on that which was expressed by others, or even questions about the experiences or thoughts of others. They were always declarative statements about ME and MY life.

But recognizing the problem is half the battle. I recognize that what I said at dinner did not necessarily reflect what I felt. I really love the people I had dinner with tonight, but my words reflected self-consumption and insecurity. Had I been actively listening to my friends instead of thinking about myself while they were talking, and had I stopped to think about what I wanted to say before I said it, I probably would have said less about me and learned more about them. I also probably would have gained a better understanding of my friends and their worlds which is an important part of being a good friend and a good person.

Ultimately, Mia took a step back and realized that she was more focused on her own wants than the needs of others. She chose to be Princess to remedy that through understanding the needs of others and serving them to meet those needs. Despite the fact that Princess Mia is a fictional character, I can only hope that you and I will be more Princess-like and use our time thinking about others instead of ourselves.

Keep on thinking,

Josie

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