There is a right of passage in womanhood.  A right of passage that most women dread, but eventually succumb to.  Great deals of money, pain, stress, angst, are spent on this particular right of passage.  We women pretend to accept it as a part of being female, grin and bare it for the sake of others, but silently seethe that our male cohorts do not have to experience that particular brand of anguish.  Many young girls fantasize about the right, but after experiencing it, and looking back on it as older adults, realize that their childish conclusions about the right were completely off base. Being a bridesmaid is not the princess-like fantasy they imagined.  Being a bridesmaid is more like being the horse the princess rides on her way to meet her prince charming.

Being a bridesmaid is both the greatest joy a woman can experience as a friend and the most arduous.  Like a bad reality show, only the strongest friendships survive.  The rest are thrown into pool by an enemy, or vomit after eating a bug, early on in the season.  Eliminated with a hardy "You're Fired!" Except that's the problem.  You will never, ever, be fired from bridesmaid-dom.  Perhaps demoted from maid of honor to a bridesmaid, but, unfortunately, never fired.  Your punishment will be putting together 500 place cards and sitting through discussion after discussion about wedding plans.

For approximately one year, your friendship with the bride will be placed on hold and all friendship efforts will be focused toward "The Wedding." You will spend the majority of your meager income on "The Wedding."  Travel to "The Wedding" (and the shower, and the bachelorette party).  A dress (she says you can wear whatever you want as long as it's pink, but she's lying).  Shoes (the proper heel size to make you and the other bridesmaids appear to be the same height, not wedges, not patent leather, black).  A hotel room.  Three gifts.  Professionally done hair (which will fall to pieces before the ceremony).  Professionally applied makeup (which will actually look damn good).

Goodbye disposable income.  You have been disposed of.

If you make it, congratulations!  You have officially earned your title as "best friend to the bride" and learned one of two things for when it's your turn.

1) You've paid your dues.  You can be a bridezilla too (complete with requests for purchases of skin care products months before the wedding because "my photographer doesn't do touch-ups.")

2) You'll know how it feels to be the princess's horse.  You'll be nice.

On behalf of bridesmaids everywhere, I beg of you! Choose number two!