Returning to my childhood home always brings me flashing back to high-school and the uncomfortable and awkward self-identity that accompanied it. It’s as if through some sort of osmosis, I soak in my immediate environment and revert to the person I was when I spent my everyday within it.   After that came college.  Then graduate school.  As I stepped foot into each of these new academic and life pursuits, I increasingly separated myself from that high school version of myself.  And that’s exactly what it was, a different version of myself.  Awkward. Theater Geek.  Goody-goody. Over-achiever. These four words capture the essence of high-school me.  While I’ve maintained some of these personality traits, a lot of things have changed.  Mostly for the better.

For that reason I am always perplexed when people long for the “better days” of high school, or nostalgically reminisce on what it was like to grow up a kid of the ‘90’s.  I truly do not understand why someone would want to return to that horribly awkward and uncomfortable time.  Perhaps it’s because I have self-improved since high school while others have depreciated.  Or perhaps, looked at differently,  I’ve simply elevated to average whereas others have been there all along.

Regardless, every time I return home I will reiterate the same coming-of-age stories, with the same friends, who I no longer know, and who no longer know me.  I will return to the same bowling alley, mall, cinema, restaurant.  And for that short period of time, I will fall back into my awkward high-school self or act the part of the self-actualized academic (whichever best suits the people I’m with), and thank the coming-of-age gods that it’s only temporary.

Keep on thinking,

Josie