You know that question people ask you to start conversation at a party or to test your public speaking skills at a job interview?  That dreaded question.  The one that will send your mind spinning into a frenzy, imagining  what your answer will mean about you as a person, other people's opinions of you.  "Describe yourself in one word" they say.  You choose the wrong word and you'll be considered too something (intense, emotional, depressed).  Really screwed.  You choose the right word and you're golden. Virtually a shoo-in to that social group or job you really want.  I think the question is just social torture.  A panic attack in sentence form.

To avoid the inevitable panic associated with the dreaded conversational prompt, I've developed a small cache of safe responses.  For most of my adult life I've answered pretty consistently.  "Passionate," "hardworking," I say.  Those are usually safe answers in any situation. Social or professional.  Today I think I'd answer that question a little differently.  You see, while I am still both passionate and hardworking, these two traits have left me at present with an even more salient single characterizing word for myself.  My passion and hard work have left me in a state of transition.

Since college I've striven to earn my PhD.  I started a PhD program about two years ago, but within months of beginning my advisor decided that it was time for her to leave my program and (by default) me.  I had decided to achieve my PhD with my current program because of my advisor.  She was the reason I chose to come here, so when she left, it made sense for me to leave too.  No one else was doing the work that I needed to be doing. It was a logical choice. Since making that choice I've been in academic limbo.  One foot out the door, looking for new programs, but one foot in, finishing my Master's degree.  I'll be starting on my PhD at another school soon.  In the mean time, I am still a student at my original school, but one on the way out.  My home will only be my home for another three months before I move to a new home.  My work at my current program has hit a plateau.  There's no reason to start things I can't finish. I'm a lame duck.  Full of possibility and potential for a new start, but until then, absolutely useless.

There's a sense of constant anticipation that comes with this "lame duck" period.  Knowing that the future is full of possibilities, none for which I can reach quite yet.  For a person who's constantly in motion, constantly striving for the next goal, constantly making lists of things to be done, this is quite an uncomfortable place to be. Until then, I've got the perfect single word to describe myself.

 "Describe yourself in one word." they'll say.   "Waiting," I'll reply without hesitation.