On PASSION!

I am an intense person. It’s in my nature. I am an intense person who is the product of an intense upbringing. Don’t get me wrong, there was almost nothing bad about my upbringing, I’ll be the first to admit that it was cushy, full of hugs, support, love, and helicopter parenting. That being said, I grew up in a family of PASSIONATE!, loud, argumentative, debating, contrary, complicated [read Italian] people . I think this intensity is a beautiful thing and one of my most useful qualities. People never have to wonder what I think or feel about the world around us. I never have to regret that people don’t understand me. I’m an open book. That being said, my intense personality is not always helpful.

You see, when I have an opinion it’s all or nothing. When I make a judgement call, it’s absolute. When I assess a person’s character, it’s final. Generally, these assessments are accurate and allow me to stalwartly pursue my goals and express my thoughts with little concern for the hindrance of ambiguity. But sometimes, no matter how much I want my opinions, and my thoughts, and my feelings, to be heard and appreciated, it just doesn’t matter. That is not to say that my opinions, thoughts, and feelings don’t matter. They certainly do. What I mean is that sometimes, no matter how much I try, it seems that people simply do not care.

In those moments it’s easy to become disheartened. After all, when I share my opinion it’s because I’m PASSIONATE!!! about it (as I am about most things in life). When people respond negatively to PASSION! it feels devaluing. So at those times I have to stop, think, and make one of three choices:

1. Stop talking. Just shut your mouth and agree with the other person.

2. Continue talking PASSIONATELY! about that which you are passionate and pretend the person you’re talking to continues listening while you potentially insult them.

3. Appreciate the other person.

Me: Hold the phone! What? Appreciate the other person?

My common sense: Yes, appreciate them!

Me: But they don’t care about me.

My common sense: Do they not care, or do they disagree?

Me: Go home common sense. You’re drunk.

Well common sense [by definition] is right (and not drunk). So many times when I’m PASSIONATE! about something and feel like someone is disregarding or ignoring my PASSION! they’re actually just disagreeing. And disagreeing, well, why should I be annoyed by people who disagree with me? They’re just practicing the skills I’ve been honing since my helicopter parent days.

They’re not ignoring me. They’re PASSIONATE! too!

Keep on thinking,

Josie